Potty Training- I'm No Expert

Not that I think most people want to read about pee and poop, but this was a good excuse to get some pics of Bo up. :)  

We were comparatively late to the potty training game with 4 months to go until his third birthday.  We gave it a good shot this summer, but that was not awesome.  I thought summertime would be a good time to get 'er done but Bo was not ready and didn't catch on to the whole concept.  I was stressed out with workers in and out of my house all day so we tabled the whole thing for four months.

About a week before Christmas, I suddenly jumped back on the bandwagon. Bo still showed no enthusiasm for the potty but he showed readiness in other ways, namely by going off to hide and then reappearing to ask me to change his diaper.  As evidenced below:

We got Bo somewhat excited by telling him he was going to potty train after Christmas and that he would get to wear all of his cool undies.  I think that was important bc he was well aware and knew what was coming.  And we started the same afternoon we got home!

(A bouncy ball reward because Mommy was SO PROUD he stayed dry on our errands!)

That was a month ago and I can count the number of accidents he's had since then on one hand.  I am shocked at how painless the experience has been!  We somehow hit the perfect window and he has been awesome.  We started with the little potty, then took that away and used a potty seat.  But when he was scared to use other bathrooms at church, etc, we took the seat away as well and now it's just big boy potty all the way.

The first day or two we stayed home but when we had to go out, I decided to take the risk and keep him in underwear.  And surprisingly he was fine!  It was like overnight he learned how to tell when he was ready to go.  He still uses a diaper at night and we try to remember to put something on him at nap but he has been dry at nap so far. 

We do use an m&m as a reward when he remembers to ask but I just ate all of those so... I guess we are done with that now.  In the future, I will not be in such a rush to train- truthfully there is more work involved with the potty because he can't really go by himself yet.  

I am so proud of our buddy!  

Living Room Renovation

I'd love to share some "before and afters" of our house but nothing is really quite at the official "after" stage!  There is always more to do, but we are taking our time.  It seems like we are changing things on a weekly basis, which is fun. . . and exhausting.  So our house is not perfect, but we love it and are proud of the changes it has gone through since we first bought the house.  I haven't styled a thing for the pictures and I didn't even bother to fluff the pillows or get the dog off the couch!  This is just our life!  Sadly my iphone has a much wider angle than my good camera for the sake of perspective, all of the 'afters' are taken with the phone.  

I'll start with the living room.  When we bought the house, I loved the view out of the front room's four windows, but that's about ALL I liked!  Wood paneling, small doorways, and heavy drapes made the room look small and dark. 

The room is long with windows on one side and a fireplace on the other.  We decided to open up the wall where the cabinets are to the kitchen on the other side.  

We also decided to take the paneling off the fireplace to expose the brick fireplace we expected was hiding behind it.  

Here's a view at the height of the demo with the cabinet portion of the wall removed down to the studs and the paneling stripped from the fireplace.  You can also see part of the casing into the dining room (to the left of the fireplace) which came to a point.  We had it squared out to match the new cased opening on the right of the fireplace. 

The doorway you see below goes into the entry way.  The doorway was SO narrow - I think it used to have an actual door on it.  We had that enlarged as well to help with the flow of the house.  The downside of enlarging the doorway was that it no longer perfectly framed our the stained-glass window, but I think the trade of symmetry for flow was worth it.  

Before:

After!  

 

The angle below is from the new opening into the kitchen, and no, Moose is not allowed on the couch.  

In the picture below you can see the squared out opening on the left to the dining room and the new opening on the right to the kitchen.  The panorama makes the kitchen opening look much smaller than the left one, but in reality they are pretty close to the same size.


And, just keeping it real, our fireplace is completely unfinished! We need a new insert, hearth, and have to decided what to do with the brick.  Should we leave it red, limewash or whitewash it, or paint it solid?  This fireplace seems really narrow so it is unlikely that we will burn fires in it.  But I would love for it to be a more attractive focal point.  We'd also like to add a piano, at least one bookshelf, a proper coffee table, some end tables, maybe change the layout (again).  One thing at a time!  We just got the cowhide rugs (a dream of Matt's) and I'm glad to say I love them!

When we bought the house, the entryway was basically a hallway into the family room.  The doorway actually had a door on it, but when it was open we could see all the way through the family room into the laundry room/back door.  We decided to wall in the doorway to make a proper entry way that would lead guests into our living room and keep the family room slightly more private/hidden.  I'm so glad we did!   

Note the series of doorways! 

Here's the entryway in Fall: 

 

And decorated for Christmas: 

For some reason I can't commit to hanging that print, I keep wondering if a mirror would be better there?  Or would that be too weird to walk in and look at yourself? :)  These are the decisions that keep me up at night . . .

So there's a little glimpse into our home!  More soon! 

Tennessee Christmas

Clinking our mugs of cocoa across the internet - Merry Christmas from our home to yours!  Highlights include some real live mistletoe we came across in a fallen tree, and the brand-new home-hewn mantel that Matt (and I) hung this weekend.  We have two fireplaces and until yesterday, no mantels!  

Tomorrow we'll celebrate as a family of three.  Matt wrapped Bo's present up himself. :) I am hoping for no less of a reaction than the one we captured on video the other day.  We were filming a "Christmas moment" for a friend and Matt impulsively handed Bo a present...

You can imagine the reaction when he TOOK IT AWAY a minute later!  

Merry Christmas!

an adoption update

I'd like to take a minute to record some details of our adoption so that we have record of them and also because they might be helpful to someone who is contemplating adopting.  A year ago when we were thinking about taking this step, I scoured blogs to find out what the process would look like.  It was actually through a stranger's blog that I learned about the agency we decided to use.  

We started researching agencies the first week of January 2013.  After calling many and looking at cost, timeline, and other factors, we chose our agency and applied to them at the end of January.  We were accepted the beginning of February and started compiling documents for our dossier.  The dossier contains all sorts of official information and is translated sent to the host country to put us 'in line' to adopt.  The dossier process took an hour or two every day for months.  We had to order official copies of our birth certificates, marriage certificate, financial and medical information, letters from our attorney and letters of reference from friends, letters to the Ethiopian government, police report, copies of our lease, pictures of our home, and I'm sure I left something out of that list.  It was exhausting.  Every page had to be notarized by a notary who's expiration fell within a certain parameter, then everything had to be certified at the county level (of course we had things signed in two different counties) and then everything had to be state certified by the Secretary of State.  Add to that our births and marriage in separate states (and in my case, born in another country) and that all took some time to get sorted out.

We also completed a homestudy with a local agency.  A social worker met with Matt and me together and individually and visited our home.  We wrote long autobiographies and answered questions about our marriage and our parenting philosophies.  We also completed some workshops/educational forums and the social worker combined all of that information into a twelve page report detailing everything from our physical appearance to our jobs to our family history and on and on.  The homestudy was included in the dossier.  Of course the US government plays a role in this process as well, and we had to apply to be able to adopt.

May 7, 2013 at our biometrics appointment

Our fingerprinting was the last thing to complete and once we got the results from that (we are not criminals), I drove all over Tennessee getting everything stamped and sealed and photocopies (one hour in Staples copying that thing!).  Bo and I dropped our beautiful dossier into the mail on May 24th, 2013, the same day we signed for our house. 

Of course I did one little paper wrong and was treated to another round of visits to the county clerk and Secretary of State but with that paper mailed in June, everything was out of our hands.  We received word in August that we were officially starting the "wait" (as if everything up until this point was not waiting?) and were fourth in line for a boy under two years old with our agency.  In October we had moved up to second, and that's where we still sit.  The children are there but are waiting for their approval from the Ethiopian government to be officially "adoptable."  In September the US started a new process that will ultimately make things move faster but right now we are feeling the slow down as new rules go into affect.  

I had hoped and prayed to get our referral by Christmas, and so this season has been particularly challenging for me.  I felt all sorts of frustration and sadness that we are still in this season of waiting.  On the first Sunday of Advent we sang, Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus.

Come, thou long expected Jesus, 
 born to set thy people free; 
 from our fears and sins release us, 
 let us find our rest in thee.  
 Israel's strength and consolation, 
 hope of all the earth thou art; 
 dear desire of every nation, 
 joy of every longing heart.

At the last line, I thought, well, I've got that one down this year. Longing heart.  And so this may be the first time I've really experienced Advent.  I get that expectation, that need for a Messiah and a Redeemer.  I am also longing for a baby, but I'm longing for that time when this heartache is not even a memory.  I'm longing for the One who makes all sad things untrue.  When babies never have to leave their parents in the first place.  When families are untouched by poverty and disease and there is no more orphan crisis.  

Until then, God has used this grief to remind me to long for Jesus and marvel at the miracle of his birth, that the one who made us came to live among us.  

Hello? Anybody there?

A friend let me know that yesterday had been six months since my last post. YIKES. Not that I think I have readers pining away for an update... Any readers out there must've moved on to greener pastures of a more prompt blogger.  For my absence, I credit 1) moving 2) renovating 3) working 4) mothering.  The move and the renovation are done but once I surfaced from beneath piles of boxes and sawdust, real life got cruising again and blogging did not.

So for a quick recap:

JUNE

My sister lived with us this summer. It was awesome having her around! I could not have survived the summer without her!  Her presence and Bo's "summer camp" of two mornings a week at our church made it possible for me to run all over town picking out tile, lighting, paint, duct covers, curtains, hardware, appliances, and the list goes on. I'm starting to sweat just thinking back on those days.  The number of pictures like this on my phone from this summer are many and make for a very boring photo stream.

JULY: 

We had many sweet summertime moments with cousins:

and friends!

But the rest of the time was spent picking out paint colors and working on our house.  We had a contractor and many helping hands for the big stuff but for the little stuff- like trying to improve our dingy floors - we tried to tackle ourselves.  (Hello, Rejuvanate!  What a great product!)

At the end of July we packed up our rental house and stacked the boxes into a couple "finished" rooms of the new house.  

AUGUST

Our house was still very unfinished so we spent a week at my brother and sister-in-laws' home while they were on vacation, and then we went on vacation, hoping and praying that the house would be livable when we returned!

This was our backyard when we left:

Ugh!! But six days in the Carolinas was a great way to avoid the construction!  We spent a couple days with my grandparents in Dataw Island, SC, and a couple days with the Riches in Wilmington.  

 

When we got home, things were better ... but still unfinished.  I think for a week Bo and I walked to Starbucks every morning for breakfast because it seemed easier than scraping up food home.  The fridge was in the living room and guys showed up around 8:30 every day to bang around (oh that nail gun!) so we spent as much time out of our home as possible.  They were stressful days and at that point I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel.  I was convinced we'd live in sawdust forever.  One Saturday morning Matt's parents had Bo because we were going to a wedding in Ohio and Matt and I were so pumped to sleep in ... until the contractor was knocking on our door at 8 am!  Ha! Our sweet contractor was such a part of daily life for months.  Bo really loves Mr. Richard.

Bo started "school" the last day of August.  He goes two mornings a week to Mother's Day Out and we LOVE his little school!  The teachers and kids are precious and we live close enough to walk.  Walking takes 45 minutes instead of 10, but it's a chance to slow down for a minute and talk with Bo about life (and pinecones).

SEPTEMBER

At some point in September our house was functionally finished.  I hope to do some before and after pictures but this photo of Bo picking dirt off the kitchen floor for his dump truck (eek!) gives a little preview and is a story itself - we had to have the floors painted and then repainted a month later and with no-walking-for-48-hours that was no small task (with a dog and 2 year old).  Thankfully Matt's parents took us in for the weekend. 

Matt and I had two consecutive weekends away - one in Lexington for a wedding and Chicago for a work conference (and I managed to see 2 besties in the suburbs!) - so my mom came out for the week to stay with Bo.  My dad and brother also made it up for the weekend so we had a great little family day!  Such a treat when we are far-flung.

 Cubs vs Braves

 OCTOBER

Autumn is beautiful in Nashville and it turns out our house has many deciduous trees.  And we are now well stocked with lawn equipment.  Getting the yard to look like this probably took Matt all day:

And then the next weekend, after a big storm, it looked like this again:

Matt did most of the work for a while and I raked piles and dragged leaves to the curb, until one day I  realized that he would not have time to get the leaves up before the leaf truck came the next day.  So I somehow got the riding mower started, hooked it up to the leaf hopper, and did the yard myself!  I had a real "girl power" moment when a mom ran by with her jogging stroller and I was cruising around on the John Deere.  (Somehow driving a tractor is a highlight of October?  I guess it is a good sign that we were getting back to normal life again!) (P.S. I can also rev up the leaf blower by myself.) 

I was able to meet up with two great friends in Richmond, Virginia, for the weekend... wow, it was SUCH a treat! I just miss my friends and love them dearly.

 And of course, Halloween, and I made this costume after the one we ordered didn't fit my little guy:

NOVEMBER

We had a much more normal month in November! Time outside playing "Star Wars"

and going for walks and bike rides.  

We had Thanksgiving in Oklahoma which included many special moments - like riding on a real freight train, coordinated by my dad who pulled some strings with a work contact. 

It also included some not-special times, like Bo's first ear infection, but if you're going to be sick, Coco and Poppy's is the place to be! 

DECEMBER

We are loving some "Christmas Season," as Bo calls it.  He had his first little "concert" where he clapped his hands like a boss.  Next year I'm advocating for a place in the front row so I can see my little angel more clearly! 

So that is a really quick recap on the second half of 2013.  Maybe now that I've broken the ice I can get back to writing a little bit more!  I hope to get some pictures up of our work on the house and an adoption update (short story: still no news).  And just in case I don't get back up here before 2014 - Merry Christmas!