an adoption update

I'd like to take a minute to record some details of our adoption so that we have record of them and also because they might be helpful to someone who is contemplating adopting.  A year ago when we were thinking about taking this step, I scoured blogs to find out what the process would look like.  It was actually through a stranger's blog that I learned about the agency we decided to use.  

We started researching agencies the first week of January 2013.  After calling many and looking at cost, timeline, and other factors, we chose our agency and applied to them at the end of January.  We were accepted the beginning of February and started compiling documents for our dossier.  The dossier contains all sorts of official information and is translated sent to the host country to put us 'in line' to adopt.  The dossier process took an hour or two every day for months.  We had to order official copies of our birth certificates, marriage certificate, financial and medical information, letters from our attorney and letters of reference from friends, letters to the Ethiopian government, police report, copies of our lease, pictures of our home, and I'm sure I left something out of that list.  It was exhausting.  Every page had to be notarized by a notary who's expiration fell within a certain parameter, then everything had to be certified at the county level (of course we had things signed in two different counties) and then everything had to be state certified by the Secretary of State.  Add to that our births and marriage in separate states (and in my case, born in another country) and that all took some time to get sorted out.

We also completed a homestudy with a local agency.  A social worker met with Matt and me together and individually and visited our home.  We wrote long autobiographies and answered questions about our marriage and our parenting philosophies.  We also completed some workshops/educational forums and the social worker combined all of that information into a twelve page report detailing everything from our physical appearance to our jobs to our family history and on and on.  The homestudy was included in the dossier.  Of course the US government plays a role in this process as well, and we had to apply to be able to adopt.

May 7, 2013 at our biometrics appointment

Our fingerprinting was the last thing to complete and once we got the results from that (we are not criminals), I drove all over Tennessee getting everything stamped and sealed and photocopies (one hour in Staples copying that thing!).  Bo and I dropped our beautiful dossier into the mail on May 24th, 2013, the same day we signed for our house. 

Of course I did one little paper wrong and was treated to another round of visits to the county clerk and Secretary of State but with that paper mailed in June, everything was out of our hands.  We received word in August that we were officially starting the "wait" (as if everything up until this point was not waiting?) and were fourth in line for a boy under two years old with our agency.  In October we had moved up to second, and that's where we still sit.  The children are there but are waiting for their approval from the Ethiopian government to be officially "adoptable."  In September the US started a new process that will ultimately make things move faster but right now we are feeling the slow down as new rules go into affect.  

I had hoped and prayed to get our referral by Christmas, and so this season has been particularly challenging for me.  I felt all sorts of frustration and sadness that we are still in this season of waiting.  On the first Sunday of Advent we sang, Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus.

Come, thou long expected Jesus, 
 born to set thy people free; 
 from our fears and sins release us, 
 let us find our rest in thee.  
 Israel's strength and consolation, 
 hope of all the earth thou art; 
 dear desire of every nation, 
 joy of every longing heart.

At the last line, I thought, well, I've got that one down this year. Longing heart.  And so this may be the first time I've really experienced Advent.  I get that expectation, that need for a Messiah and a Redeemer.  I am also longing for a baby, but I'm longing for that time when this heartache is not even a memory.  I'm longing for the One who makes all sad things untrue.  When babies never have to leave their parents in the first place.  When families are untouched by poverty and disease and there is no more orphan crisis.  

Until then, God has used this grief to remind me to long for Jesus and marvel at the miracle of his birth, that the one who made us came to live among us.