and then, it's normal

After a couple somewhat depressing posts on the hard first weeks with a new baby, I want to share some good things!  At writing, Max has been home for seven months.  And life is so stinkin' normal.  I don't even think about the things that used to fill my brain all day long.  My saving grace during the hard months of I-don't-know-what-we're-doing was the friendship of two adoptive mamas who brought their kids home at the same time as we did.  The three of us texted frequently and met up for some face-to-face time at a conference for adoptive mothers in February.  When we all crossed the six-months-home mark, our panicked texting dwindled to the occasional update.  We've turned a corner.

For my family it was a combination of factors - Max growing up a little bit and learning to walk and communicate, the months home with us led to better attachment, and getting his ear tubes got rid of his ear infections.

    

Prior to the ear tubes (early March, just shy of six months home), Matt and I were still feeling stretched pretty thin.  In every way, life seemed so much harder than it had before Max came home.  Max was f u s s y.  It's just true.  Didn't nap well and just seemed to always be crying.  The child came home with an ear infection and they just didn't quit.  Bo was never prone to those so it took me a while to get a handle on his symptoms.  He was little and didn't talk and had (still has) an incredibly high threshold for pain, and we thought his fussiness was attachment related.  Finally I caught on to the ol' ear routine and that child started going to the pediatrician all the time.  Like once a week.  Like in January we went six times.  And the antibiotics led to tummy issues and ugh.  So, he had a reason to be fussy. And we had good reason to count down the days until they placed his tubes.

The preop drug turned him from cranky hungry baby into the cutest giggle monster of all time.

And wouldn't you know, he had an ear infection on his two week follow up appointment?  Ay yi yi!  But (PTL!!) it's been under control now and with the tubes the fluid can drain out and not build up pressure in his ears.  And he is a different child.  It's not all tubes-related - he's learning to talk and spring brought tons of time outside, where my kids (and their mom) are just happier.  He eats real food, which for a while I wasn't sure would ever happen.  His naps have stretched longer and I would say we are in a sweet spot now at 19 months old, 7 months home - not quite a terrible-two, and becoming so aware of everything around him.

Max ADORES his brother.  It's "BoBo!" he yells for from his crib.  I am so very thankful for these brothers.  Matt - we did good with this little arrangement.  High Five.  Well, honestly, God orchestrated it all better than we could've imagined but this is what we wanted - two boys close in age.  Countless wrestling matches to come.  Skinned knees and stinky feet.  Swords and battle calls.  I am so very thankful for our two boys and the way brotherhood has shaped their lives.

And so, I celebrate our family and the changes we've been through in the past year.  Goodness, I know we aren't done with changes or crises but in this little calm place it feels good to acknowledge where we've been and where we're going.