The Day We Met Our Boy

Meeting Day

The day we met our son started with a spectacular sunrise over Egypt, the sun arcing blue and orange over the curve of the earth as we raced through the sky towards Addis Ababa. When our 12 hour flight landed in Ethiopia's capital, I peered through our small window to see hills of green, city buildings in the distance, and men and women harvesting grasses along the runway with machetes, bundling them neatly onto their backs. We found our driver and he confirmed our identity by asking, "Firomsa's parents?" We grinned and nodded ecstatically, the first time we'd heard an Ethiopian say our son's name, which tripped awkwardly off our American tongues.

Our flight had landed late so when we arrived at the guest house, we had only a minute to drop off our bags and give hurried introductions to the other families staying there. Time was ticking on our visiting hours, 10-12 and 3-5. We wanted to be there every second we could. As I was about to leave, the guest house manager stopped me and explained there was a problem. My tired mind raced and tried to decipher the broken English and quell the rising panic.  It sounded like we might not be able to see him today. Mr. Bere struggled to make his point clear. "You know chicken box?" "Chicken in a box?", I repeated blankly, thinking it was way too early for KFC.  Thankfully another mom came to my rescue.  "Chicken POX!", she translated. A minute later we had determined that one of the older children had chicken pox and they were worried the visiting room needed a day to ventilate.  Solution- we could bring our baby back to the guest house, all day long. As far as I know this has never happened for a court visit. We had absolutely nothing for him! But we were ecstatic.

After a short, but harrowing, drive we pulled up to the pink gates of the foster home.  The nannies welcomed us and chattered and someone called for Firomsa while I struggled to hand off my camera. And then there he was, a little bundle, looking just like his pictures, but unsure of me. 

  

I think I was nervous to meet him, I didn't know what he'd think of me, but it's hard to remember the feeling now because now... He's our son! We tried not to overwhelm him and they gave us a bottle and then hurried us back to the car. Five Americans carried their two new Ethiopian babies on their laps, African style.  And then there we were, suddenly with a new baby, all day long. It was sweet. 

That first day we were full of quiet wonder. What does he like? What does he do? We had lots of questions for our almost-11-month-old.  He sat quietly at first and then fell asleep after his bottle. Along with another family we took our new babies to a hotel nearby for lunch, giddy with the freedom of parenting our kids for the first time and exposing them to new things.  We fed him from a spoon for the first time, saw him stand, smile, and grab for our food. Later as we struggled to push through the jet lag, he surprised us by crawling to the foot of the bed and sitting attentively while we FaceTimed with Bo. Our last activity of the day was a family nap, mom and dad overcome with jet lag and Firo snuggled between us for his afternoon nap. We returned him to his nannies at the foster home and thanked God for a perfect first day together. 

After that, we fell into a routine of two visits a day, two hours each visit. Each time we learned something new about our son as he grew more comfortable with us. He is small but mighty! He crawled, pulled step standing, cruised along furniture, clapped his little hands, and chanted DaDa after Matt showed him how. He loves balls and other babies and was most animated when one of his baby friends was out to play. He loved the nannies too, always pausing to acknowledge them with a smile. 

It was a honeymoon week. He was perfect. We never saw him cry and never changed a dirty diaper either. I know those days are coming! We are excited for them, but we treasure that first week together, getting to know our boy. 

Best News Ever!

There have been two life-changing phone calls during this long process.  The phone calls are kind of like seeing a positive on a pregnancy test . . . and kind of not.  For one, this would've been a heck of a long pregnancy.  But of our two phone calls, the first was our referral. March 3, 2014, we were all at home for a snow day and it was a party!  

And then we did a lot of hurry up and wait. And wishing and hoping and praying.  As our waiting for a court date drew closer to the summer court closure for rainy season, it was hard to hope that we would get through before the courts closed, but even harder to imagine we wouldn't.  Then we got another call.  This time Matt was at work and Bo wandered off to play after I tried to explain that "This lady knows information about your brother" and then picked up the phone to hear, "How'd you like to go to Ethiopia?"

Yes, yes, I'd like to go. Next week? Sure. No problem. I'd go right now if you asked me to.

We got the call on Wednesday and we're getting on a plane this Thursday. Just a little hectic around here as we move work obligations around, get ready for my mom to come stay with Bo, and pack for Africa.  Matt's brother is getting married in Washington, DC on August 9th which is so exciting . . . and it just so happens that the most direct route from the US to Addis is through DC.  Which is convenient! We are excited to do it all.

The big day for us is August 5th, our court date.  On that day we will stand before a judge and legally accept responsibility of our son!  We can not WAIT for that day.  And beyond that, we can't wait to bring him home to us . . . but we'll have to wait another 4-6 weeks for that.  It will be so hard to come back with out him, but that is just how the game is played right now.  

We are coming for you little bud!  Can't wait!

so close!

We are in a season of suspense.  I feel as if I am just killing time until something happens, but life is still busy and events stack up that I can't seem to fully focus on.  Now, more than ever, there is an underlying current to every decision that we make and every case I pencil onto the calendar.  Sure, he's free then, but I hope I have to call and cancel this one.  Yes, we'll be here, but if we are I'm going to be really sad about it. We are so close.  SO CLOSE to having our son home.  And we are racing against the clock.  

We started the our adoption in January 2013 with an application to our agency.  After six months of paperwork, our dossier was sent to Ethiopia and we joined the wait list in August at fourth in line for a boy under two years of age, which is a great place to be!  With a larger agency you could start out at number 103.  By October, we were second in line.  And then... the 'drought.'  I had prayed for a referral - a match - by Christmas but that did not happen.  

There were some dark days as we heard rumors of a possible shutdown in Ethiopia.  I wondered if this would ever happen to our family.  We started to discuss other options.  The weight of that seasons was so heavy as I questioned everything I thought I knew.

Then, by God's grace, everything changed.  We had the first and only snow of the season and all three of us were home that Monday in March when my phone lit up.  The name of my program director flashed on the screen and Matt and I ran into another room to answer it away from Bo, who was watching a movie.  I have some exciting news for you . . . little boy . . . five months old . . . And I  cried and couldn't respond so Matt had to get on the phone and she told him the news.  Within the hour we had accepted the referral and suddenly this little big-eyed boy in Ethiopia was linked to me.

We were over the moon about the news of our referral but were asked to keep it off the internet for some time.  Even now I will not post any pictures until he is officially a Yezerski but we are so fortunate to receive a weekly update from his foster home that includes photos.  We've watched him grow through these weekly emails, searched the pictures for clues to his well-being. I fret about his weight and multiply the kilograms to convert them to pounds and mentally plot them on a growth chart. He's happy, smiling, holding toys.  He is ours.  We miss him.

Since March we've been following protocol and we have now achieved preliminary acceptance from the US government.  Our paperwork is speeding across the US right now, waiting to be authenticated and sent on to Addis Ababa.  We are waiting on two crucial last steps: the court dates.  The first date scheduled is the birth parent or finder court date, and then ours, the adoptive parent court date.  I am beyond anxious to hear when that might be.

And we covet your prayers!  We are begging for a court date soon, before August 15.  The Ethiopian court will close for two months during rainy season and we think that will be mid-August through mid-October.  If we don't get our court date before then, our son will turn one in Ethiopia without us.  To come this close but not get through . . . it's just too hard to imagine.  

Our specific prayer is that 1) the first court date would be scheduled soon and pass without incident and 2) that our adoptive parent court date would be scheduled before the cutoff on August 15.

Thank you all for walking through this with us!  

kitchen redo

(Before I begin... for some reason my pictures and words are justified right, left, and all over the place.  I have tried to fix this and it's impossible but because "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful," I pressed publish anyway.) 

I have to laugh when I think about the first time we saw this house and immediately put an offer on it. Truthfully, I was terrified!  I liked the yard and the "character" but it seemed like a huge project.  I mean, it WAS a huge project and I am so thankful that we took it on and that my husband is a dreamer because today, I just love it.  It's a great space for us. 

I think the worst spot was the kitchen.  It had some good things - like cabinets up to the ceiling and two stainless appliances - but it was super small and cramped.  When we bought the house we really didn't have a plan for how to make it better but after much brainstorming, it evolved into a much brighter, open space.  

When we bought it, the kitchen was sporting a brown laminate countertop and backsplash and peel-and-stick tile on top of old peel-and-stick on top of several other layers of junk.  

But the worst part was how cramped it was.  Unfortunately I don't have a good picture because it was hard to get the camera in there, but this is basically the kitchen, with a wall along the right side of this picture - and you might notice there is no fridge in sight.  

Below you can see the doorway into the kitchen and the blue wall that lined one side of it.  That little nook is where the fridge was supposed to go - so odd and quirky.  The door to the left opened to the side of the fridge.  Bizarre and not functional.  

So, we knocked it down.  Below is the view of the two doorways, door removed and walls torn down to the studs.  

And from the other side of the kitchen, the view from the dining room of the doorway into the kitchen and the basement steps, which was why that wall was there in the first place.  

Which leads us to the question, what should we do with the basement steps? 

Our "basement" is really more of a cellar and is only below the kitchen, so we really did not have many options on where to put the steps.  Someone - Matt or the contractor or the both of them - had a brilliant idea of installing a trap door.  Thankfully whoever was issuing permits didn't oppose the idea and now that's what we've got! 

For me, picking out new tile and a backsplash for this kitchen was tough.  I liked the white cabinets and I'd seen grey subway tile on an HGTV show that I liked - white subway never really did it for me - so we kind of went off that idea for a while.  After much heartache and stress I had settled on this combination of grey subway tile, butcher block countertops, and this long rectangular tile for the kitchen floor. 

Well. Easier said than done.  The butcher block was from Ikea in Atlanta and transported on top of our friends' minivan to save $300 on shipping.  The subway tile was on a freighter somewhere between China and California with a delivery of mid-August.  Arg.  So many ulcers.  So when my contractor called over the 4th of July and said "I think we found wood floors under the tile in the kitchen," I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  So. Many. Decisions.  Because if there is wood on the floor should we do wood on the countertop?  Should we stain the floor a different color than the rest of the house?  And the wood ended up being pine which was different than the rest of the house anyway.

Tears.  Stress.  I'm to young for this, I don't know what I like, waah waah waah. #firstworldproblems

So the sweet interior designer I used to help with some other decisions was called back in and she YES to a questions I'd already posed to Matt: Should we paint the floor?  This was controversial because our cottage in Long Island had painted floors that were in dire need of some love and they never looked good.  We decided to go for it anyway.  She also said a three magic words: white subway tile.  And I just said YES because that stuff is pennies per tile compared to that other stuff I had picked out and since it is the most common tile in the world, it was readily available.  

So this is what it looked like when we moved in: 

OH MY.  

Not ideal, but we made it through.  Notice the fridge is in the living room.

And this is what it looks like now: 

Below a before and after - you can see we added can lighting and a microwave.

And as for all that space where the basement stairs used to live: 

Doorways were widened, added, and this beautiful bit of cabinetry created by our contractor.  

The cabinet on the left is hiding a large duct so the shelves are about two cans deep.  On the right I have pull out shelves for our pantry.  Above I have extra serving pieces and vertical cookie sheet storage.

This shot shows our new doorway into the front living room and the trap door on the floor. :)  

And that little doorway + weird door to the fridge are now one big opening.

And this...

This is what my kitchen usually looks like.  

Potty Training- I'm No Expert

Not that I think most people want to read about pee and poop, but this was a good excuse to get some pics of Bo up. :)  

We were comparatively late to the potty training game with 4 months to go until his third birthday.  We gave it a good shot this summer, but that was not awesome.  I thought summertime would be a good time to get 'er done but Bo was not ready and didn't catch on to the whole concept.  I was stressed out with workers in and out of my house all day so we tabled the whole thing for four months.

About a week before Christmas, I suddenly jumped back on the bandwagon. Bo still showed no enthusiasm for the potty but he showed readiness in other ways, namely by going off to hide and then reappearing to ask me to change his diaper.  As evidenced below:

We got Bo somewhat excited by telling him he was going to potty train after Christmas and that he would get to wear all of his cool undies.  I think that was important bc he was well aware and knew what was coming.  And we started the same afternoon we got home!

(A bouncy ball reward because Mommy was SO PROUD he stayed dry on our errands!)

That was a month ago and I can count the number of accidents he's had since then on one hand.  I am shocked at how painless the experience has been!  We somehow hit the perfect window and he has been awesome.  We started with the little potty, then took that away and used a potty seat.  But when he was scared to use other bathrooms at church, etc, we took the seat away as well and now it's just big boy potty all the way.

The first day or two we stayed home but when we had to go out, I decided to take the risk and keep him in underwear.  And surprisingly he was fine!  It was like overnight he learned how to tell when he was ready to go.  He still uses a diaper at night and we try to remember to put something on him at nap but he has been dry at nap so far. 

We do use an m&m as a reward when he remembers to ask but I just ate all of those so... I guess we are done with that now.  In the future, I will not be in such a rush to train- truthfully there is more work involved with the potty because he can't really go by himself yet.  

I am so proud of our buddy!  

Living Room Renovation

I'd love to share some "before and afters" of our house but nothing is really quite at the official "after" stage!  There is always more to do, but we are taking our time.  It seems like we are changing things on a weekly basis, which is fun. . . and exhausting.  So our house is not perfect, but we love it and are proud of the changes it has gone through since we first bought the house.  I haven't styled a thing for the pictures and I didn't even bother to fluff the pillows or get the dog off the couch!  This is just our life!  Sadly my iphone has a much wider angle than my good camera for the sake of perspective, all of the 'afters' are taken with the phone.  

I'll start with the living room.  When we bought the house, I loved the view out of the front room's four windows, but that's about ALL I liked!  Wood paneling, small doorways, and heavy drapes made the room look small and dark. 

The room is long with windows on one side and a fireplace on the other.  We decided to open up the wall where the cabinets are to the kitchen on the other side.  

We also decided to take the paneling off the fireplace to expose the brick fireplace we expected was hiding behind it.  

Here's a view at the height of the demo with the cabinet portion of the wall removed down to the studs and the paneling stripped from the fireplace.  You can also see part of the casing into the dining room (to the left of the fireplace) which came to a point.  We had it squared out to match the new cased opening on the right of the fireplace. 

The doorway you see below goes into the entry way.  The doorway was SO narrow - I think it used to have an actual door on it.  We had that enlarged as well to help with the flow of the house.  The downside of enlarging the doorway was that it no longer perfectly framed our the stained-glass window, but I think the trade of symmetry for flow was worth it.  

Before:

After!  

 

The angle below is from the new opening into the kitchen, and no, Moose is not allowed on the couch.  

In the picture below you can see the squared out opening on the left to the dining room and the new opening on the right to the kitchen.  The panorama makes the kitchen opening look much smaller than the left one, but in reality they are pretty close to the same size.


And, just keeping it real, our fireplace is completely unfinished! We need a new insert, hearth, and have to decided what to do with the brick.  Should we leave it red, limewash or whitewash it, or paint it solid?  This fireplace seems really narrow so it is unlikely that we will burn fires in it.  But I would love for it to be a more attractive focal point.  We'd also like to add a piano, at least one bookshelf, a proper coffee table, some end tables, maybe change the layout (again).  One thing at a time!  We just got the cowhide rugs (a dream of Matt's) and I'm glad to say I love them!

When we bought the house, the entryway was basically a hallway into the family room.  The doorway actually had a door on it, but when it was open we could see all the way through the family room into the laundry room/back door.  We decided to wall in the doorway to make a proper entry way that would lead guests into our living room and keep the family room slightly more private/hidden.  I'm so glad we did!   

Note the series of doorways! 

Here's the entryway in Fall: 

 

And decorated for Christmas: 

For some reason I can't commit to hanging that print, I keep wondering if a mirror would be better there?  Or would that be too weird to walk in and look at yourself? :)  These are the decisions that keep me up at night . . .

So there's a little glimpse into our home!  More soon!