Best News Ever!

There have been two life-changing phone calls during this long process.  The phone calls are kind of like seeing a positive on a pregnancy test . . . and kind of not.  For one, this would've been a heck of a long pregnancy.  But of our two phone calls, the first was our referral. March 3, 2014, we were all at home for a snow day and it was a party!  

And then we did a lot of hurry up and wait. And wishing and hoping and praying.  As our waiting for a court date drew closer to the summer court closure for rainy season, it was hard to hope that we would get through before the courts closed, but even harder to imagine we wouldn't.  Then we got another call.  This time Matt was at work and Bo wandered off to play after I tried to explain that "This lady knows information about your brother" and then picked up the phone to hear, "How'd you like to go to Ethiopia?"

Yes, yes, I'd like to go. Next week? Sure. No problem. I'd go right now if you asked me to.

We got the call on Wednesday and we're getting on a plane this Thursday. Just a little hectic around here as we move work obligations around, get ready for my mom to come stay with Bo, and pack for Africa.  Matt's brother is getting married in Washington, DC on August 9th which is so exciting . . . and it just so happens that the most direct route from the US to Addis is through DC.  Which is convenient! We are excited to do it all.

The big day for us is August 5th, our court date.  On that day we will stand before a judge and legally accept responsibility of our son!  We can not WAIT for that day.  And beyond that, we can't wait to bring him home to us . . . but we'll have to wait another 4-6 weeks for that.  It will be so hard to come back with out him, but that is just how the game is played right now.  

We are coming for you little bud!  Can't wait!

so close!

We are in a season of suspense.  I feel as if I am just killing time until something happens, but life is still busy and events stack up that I can't seem to fully focus on.  Now, more than ever, there is an underlying current to every decision that we make and every case I pencil onto the calendar.  Sure, he's free then, but I hope I have to call and cancel this one.  Yes, we'll be here, but if we are I'm going to be really sad about it. We are so close.  SO CLOSE to having our son home.  And we are racing against the clock.  

We started the our adoption in January 2013 with an application to our agency.  After six months of paperwork, our dossier was sent to Ethiopia and we joined the wait list in August at fourth in line for a boy under two years of age, which is a great place to be!  With a larger agency you could start out at number 103.  By October, we were second in line.  And then... the 'drought.'  I had prayed for a referral - a match - by Christmas but that did not happen.  

There were some dark days as we heard rumors of a possible shutdown in Ethiopia.  I wondered if this would ever happen to our family.  We started to discuss other options.  The weight of that seasons was so heavy as I questioned everything I thought I knew.

Then, by God's grace, everything changed.  We had the first and only snow of the season and all three of us were home that Monday in March when my phone lit up.  The name of my program director flashed on the screen and Matt and I ran into another room to answer it away from Bo, who was watching a movie.  I have some exciting news for you . . . little boy . . . five months old . . . And I  cried and couldn't respond so Matt had to get on the phone and she told him the news.  Within the hour we had accepted the referral and suddenly this little big-eyed boy in Ethiopia was linked to me.

We were over the moon about the news of our referral but were asked to keep it off the internet for some time.  Even now I will not post any pictures until he is officially a Yezerski but we are so fortunate to receive a weekly update from his foster home that includes photos.  We've watched him grow through these weekly emails, searched the pictures for clues to his well-being. I fret about his weight and multiply the kilograms to convert them to pounds and mentally plot them on a growth chart. He's happy, smiling, holding toys.  He is ours.  We miss him.

Since March we've been following protocol and we have now achieved preliminary acceptance from the US government.  Our paperwork is speeding across the US right now, waiting to be authenticated and sent on to Addis Ababa.  We are waiting on two crucial last steps: the court dates.  The first date scheduled is the birth parent or finder court date, and then ours, the adoptive parent court date.  I am beyond anxious to hear when that might be.

And we covet your prayers!  We are begging for a court date soon, before August 15.  The Ethiopian court will close for two months during rainy season and we think that will be mid-August through mid-October.  If we don't get our court date before then, our son will turn one in Ethiopia without us.  To come this close but not get through . . . it's just too hard to imagine.  

Our specific prayer is that 1) the first court date would be scheduled soon and pass without incident and 2) that our adoptive parent court date would be scheduled before the cutoff on August 15.

Thank you all for walking through this with us!  

kitchen redo

(Before I begin... for some reason my pictures and words are justified right, left, and all over the place.  I have tried to fix this and it's impossible but because "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful," I pressed publish anyway.) 

I have to laugh when I think about the first time we saw this house and immediately put an offer on it. Truthfully, I was terrified!  I liked the yard and the "character" but it seemed like a huge project.  I mean, it WAS a huge project and I am so thankful that we took it on and that my husband is a dreamer because today, I just love it.  It's a great space for us. 

I think the worst spot was the kitchen.  It had some good things - like cabinets up to the ceiling and two stainless appliances - but it was super small and cramped.  When we bought the house we really didn't have a plan for how to make it better but after much brainstorming, it evolved into a much brighter, open space.  

When we bought it, the kitchen was sporting a brown laminate countertop and backsplash and peel-and-stick tile on top of old peel-and-stick on top of several other layers of junk.  

But the worst part was how cramped it was.  Unfortunately I don't have a good picture because it was hard to get the camera in there, but this is basically the kitchen, with a wall along the right side of this picture - and you might notice there is no fridge in sight.  

Below you can see the doorway into the kitchen and the blue wall that lined one side of it.  That little nook is where the fridge was supposed to go - so odd and quirky.  The door to the left opened to the side of the fridge.  Bizarre and not functional.  

So, we knocked it down.  Below is the view of the two doorways, door removed and walls torn down to the studs.  

And from the other side of the kitchen, the view from the dining room of the doorway into the kitchen and the basement steps, which was why that wall was there in the first place.  

Which leads us to the question, what should we do with the basement steps? 

Our "basement" is really more of a cellar and is only below the kitchen, so we really did not have many options on where to put the steps.  Someone - Matt or the contractor or the both of them - had a brilliant idea of installing a trap door.  Thankfully whoever was issuing permits didn't oppose the idea and now that's what we've got! 

For me, picking out new tile and a backsplash for this kitchen was tough.  I liked the white cabinets and I'd seen grey subway tile on an HGTV show that I liked - white subway never really did it for me - so we kind of went off that idea for a while.  After much heartache and stress I had settled on this combination of grey subway tile, butcher block countertops, and this long rectangular tile for the kitchen floor. 

Well. Easier said than done.  The butcher block was from Ikea in Atlanta and transported on top of our friends' minivan to save $300 on shipping.  The subway tile was on a freighter somewhere between China and California with a delivery of mid-August.  Arg.  So many ulcers.  So when my contractor called over the 4th of July and said "I think we found wood floors under the tile in the kitchen," I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.  So. Many. Decisions.  Because if there is wood on the floor should we do wood on the countertop?  Should we stain the floor a different color than the rest of the house?  And the wood ended up being pine which was different than the rest of the house anyway.

Tears.  Stress.  I'm to young for this, I don't know what I like, waah waah waah. #firstworldproblems

So the sweet interior designer I used to help with some other decisions was called back in and she YES to a questions I'd already posed to Matt: Should we paint the floor?  This was controversial because our cottage in Long Island had painted floors that were in dire need of some love and they never looked good.  We decided to go for it anyway.  She also said a three magic words: white subway tile.  And I just said YES because that stuff is pennies per tile compared to that other stuff I had picked out and since it is the most common tile in the world, it was readily available.  

So this is what it looked like when we moved in: 

OH MY.  

Not ideal, but we made it through.  Notice the fridge is in the living room.

And this is what it looks like now: 

Below a before and after - you can see we added can lighting and a microwave.

And as for all that space where the basement stairs used to live: 

Doorways were widened, added, and this beautiful bit of cabinetry created by our contractor.  

The cabinet on the left is hiding a large duct so the shelves are about two cans deep.  On the right I have pull out shelves for our pantry.  Above I have extra serving pieces and vertical cookie sheet storage.

This shot shows our new doorway into the front living room and the trap door on the floor. :)  

And that little doorway + weird door to the fridge are now one big opening.

And this...

This is what my kitchen usually looks like.  

Potty Training- I'm No Expert

Not that I think most people want to read about pee and poop, but this was a good excuse to get some pics of Bo up. :)  

We were comparatively late to the potty training game with 4 months to go until his third birthday.  We gave it a good shot this summer, but that was not awesome.  I thought summertime would be a good time to get 'er done but Bo was not ready and didn't catch on to the whole concept.  I was stressed out with workers in and out of my house all day so we tabled the whole thing for four months.

About a week before Christmas, I suddenly jumped back on the bandwagon. Bo still showed no enthusiasm for the potty but he showed readiness in other ways, namely by going off to hide and then reappearing to ask me to change his diaper.  As evidenced below:

We got Bo somewhat excited by telling him he was going to potty train after Christmas and that he would get to wear all of his cool undies.  I think that was important bc he was well aware and knew what was coming.  And we started the same afternoon we got home!

(A bouncy ball reward because Mommy was SO PROUD he stayed dry on our errands!)

That was a month ago and I can count the number of accidents he's had since then on one hand.  I am shocked at how painless the experience has been!  We somehow hit the perfect window and he has been awesome.  We started with the little potty, then took that away and used a potty seat.  But when he was scared to use other bathrooms at church, etc, we took the seat away as well and now it's just big boy potty all the way.

The first day or two we stayed home but when we had to go out, I decided to take the risk and keep him in underwear.  And surprisingly he was fine!  It was like overnight he learned how to tell when he was ready to go.  He still uses a diaper at night and we try to remember to put something on him at nap but he has been dry at nap so far. 

We do use an m&m as a reward when he remembers to ask but I just ate all of those so... I guess we are done with that now.  In the future, I will not be in such a rush to train- truthfully there is more work involved with the potty because he can't really go by himself yet.  

I am so proud of our buddy!  

Living Room Renovation

I'd love to share some "before and afters" of our house but nothing is really quite at the official "after" stage!  There is always more to do, but we are taking our time.  It seems like we are changing things on a weekly basis, which is fun. . . and exhausting.  So our house is not perfect, but we love it and are proud of the changes it has gone through since we first bought the house.  I haven't styled a thing for the pictures and I didn't even bother to fluff the pillows or get the dog off the couch!  This is just our life!  Sadly my iphone has a much wider angle than my good camera for the sake of perspective, all of the 'afters' are taken with the phone.  

I'll start with the living room.  When we bought the house, I loved the view out of the front room's four windows, but that's about ALL I liked!  Wood paneling, small doorways, and heavy drapes made the room look small and dark. 

The room is long with windows on one side and a fireplace on the other.  We decided to open up the wall where the cabinets are to the kitchen on the other side.  

We also decided to take the paneling off the fireplace to expose the brick fireplace we expected was hiding behind it.  

Here's a view at the height of the demo with the cabinet portion of the wall removed down to the studs and the paneling stripped from the fireplace.  You can also see part of the casing into the dining room (to the left of the fireplace) which came to a point.  We had it squared out to match the new cased opening on the right of the fireplace. 

The doorway you see below goes into the entry way.  The doorway was SO narrow - I think it used to have an actual door on it.  We had that enlarged as well to help with the flow of the house.  The downside of enlarging the doorway was that it no longer perfectly framed our the stained-glass window, but I think the trade of symmetry for flow was worth it.  

Before:

After!  

 

The angle below is from the new opening into the kitchen, and no, Moose is not allowed on the couch.  

In the picture below you can see the squared out opening on the left to the dining room and the new opening on the right to the kitchen.  The panorama makes the kitchen opening look much smaller than the left one, but in reality they are pretty close to the same size.


And, just keeping it real, our fireplace is completely unfinished! We need a new insert, hearth, and have to decided what to do with the brick.  Should we leave it red, limewash or whitewash it, or paint it solid?  This fireplace seems really narrow so it is unlikely that we will burn fires in it.  But I would love for it to be a more attractive focal point.  We'd also like to add a piano, at least one bookshelf, a proper coffee table, some end tables, maybe change the layout (again).  One thing at a time!  We just got the cowhide rugs (a dream of Matt's) and I'm glad to say I love them!

When we bought the house, the entryway was basically a hallway into the family room.  The doorway actually had a door on it, but when it was open we could see all the way through the family room into the laundry room/back door.  We decided to wall in the doorway to make a proper entry way that would lead guests into our living room and keep the family room slightly more private/hidden.  I'm so glad we did!   

Note the series of doorways! 

Here's the entryway in Fall: 

 

And decorated for Christmas: 

For some reason I can't commit to hanging that print, I keep wondering if a mirror would be better there?  Or would that be too weird to walk in and look at yourself? :)  These are the decisions that keep me up at night . . .

So there's a little glimpse into our home!  More soon! 

Tennessee Christmas

Clinking our mugs of cocoa across the internet - Merry Christmas from our home to yours!  Highlights include some real live mistletoe we came across in a fallen tree, and the brand-new home-hewn mantel that Matt (and I) hung this weekend.  We have two fireplaces and until yesterday, no mantels!  

Tomorrow we'll celebrate as a family of three.  Matt wrapped Bo's present up himself. :) I am hoping for no less of a reaction than the one we captured on video the other day.  We were filming a "Christmas moment" for a friend and Matt impulsively handed Bo a present...

You can imagine the reaction when he TOOK IT AWAY a minute later!  

Merry Christmas!

an adoption update

I'd like to take a minute to record some details of our adoption so that we have record of them and also because they might be helpful to someone who is contemplating adopting.  A year ago when we were thinking about taking this step, I scoured blogs to find out what the process would look like.  It was actually through a stranger's blog that I learned about the agency we decided to use.  

We started researching agencies the first week of January 2013.  After calling many and looking at cost, timeline, and other factors, we chose our agency and applied to them at the end of January.  We were accepted the beginning of February and started compiling documents for our dossier.  The dossier contains all sorts of official information and is translated sent to the host country to put us 'in line' to adopt.  The dossier process took an hour or two every day for months.  We had to order official copies of our birth certificates, marriage certificate, financial and medical information, letters from our attorney and letters of reference from friends, letters to the Ethiopian government, police report, copies of our lease, pictures of our home, and I'm sure I left something out of that list.  It was exhausting.  Every page had to be notarized by a notary who's expiration fell within a certain parameter, then everything had to be certified at the county level (of course we had things signed in two different counties) and then everything had to be state certified by the Secretary of State.  Add to that our births and marriage in separate states (and in my case, born in another country) and that all took some time to get sorted out.

We also completed a homestudy with a local agency.  A social worker met with Matt and me together and individually and visited our home.  We wrote long autobiographies and answered questions about our marriage and our parenting philosophies.  We also completed some workshops/educational forums and the social worker combined all of that information into a twelve page report detailing everything from our physical appearance to our jobs to our family history and on and on.  The homestudy was included in the dossier.  Of course the US government plays a role in this process as well, and we had to apply to be able to adopt.

May 7, 2013 at our biometrics appointment

Our fingerprinting was the last thing to complete and once we got the results from that (we are not criminals), I drove all over Tennessee getting everything stamped and sealed and photocopies (one hour in Staples copying that thing!).  Bo and I dropped our beautiful dossier into the mail on May 24th, 2013, the same day we signed for our house. 

Of course I did one little paper wrong and was treated to another round of visits to the county clerk and Secretary of State but with that paper mailed in June, everything was out of our hands.  We received word in August that we were officially starting the "wait" (as if everything up until this point was not waiting?) and were fourth in line for a boy under two years old with our agency.  In October we had moved up to second, and that's where we still sit.  The children are there but are waiting for their approval from the Ethiopian government to be officially "adoptable."  In September the US started a new process that will ultimately make things move faster but right now we are feeling the slow down as new rules go into affect.  

I had hoped and prayed to get our referral by Christmas, and so this season has been particularly challenging for me.  I felt all sorts of frustration and sadness that we are still in this season of waiting.  On the first Sunday of Advent we sang, Come, Thou Long Expected Jesus.

Come, thou long expected Jesus, 
 born to set thy people free; 
 from our fears and sins release us, 
 let us find our rest in thee.  
 Israel's strength and consolation, 
 hope of all the earth thou art; 
 dear desire of every nation, 
 joy of every longing heart.

At the last line, I thought, well, I've got that one down this year. Longing heart.  And so this may be the first time I've really experienced Advent.  I get that expectation, that need for a Messiah and a Redeemer.  I am also longing for a baby, but I'm longing for that time when this heartache is not even a memory.  I'm longing for the One who makes all sad things untrue.  When babies never have to leave their parents in the first place.  When families are untouched by poverty and disease and there is no more orphan crisis.  

Until then, God has used this grief to remind me to long for Jesus and marvel at the miracle of his birth, that the one who made us came to live among us.